Public Recognition
Of The Importance Of

F. "The Boss" Baney,
Powerful Prison Prince
By: Lackey Fawning

"The Boss" Baney is an important person; a very important person. A few ignorant souls may be unaware of Frank's sublime importance. He has authority, a lot of authority. He's a prison guard, a real, full-fledged "corrections officer!" People MUST respectfully obey him! We certainly do!

We reject the disrespectful wags who hint that every little thing makes The Boss feel threatened and insecure, or that he neuroticly over compensates for his numerous shortcomings. He's not an immature adolescent with personality defects. Boss Baney is a figure of world-class importance and he realizes it.

We want everyone to share our obsequious obedience. We cannot stress the abject awe in which we hold him and his immense authority. Mister Baney deserves your humble respect; he's important.

In addition, The Boss pretty much knows how to write, even some of the bigger words. He will tell on you if you don't properly and completely recognize his authority. By telling on people, he rightly punishes them for neglecting to display appropriate respect. Genuflect, kowtow, but avert your eyes! He won't tolerate being "eyeballed."


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