Sex Crazed Cops
By: Mrs. Mary Vitner

American media and government have become obsessed with all things sexual. Sex is no longer viewed as normal and good. That's what happens when Christian crazies and conservative extremists get into power. Shame replaces reason. Christian crazies and conservatives are abnormal.

Of course, sexuality can sometimes go too far. Pennsylvania police are obsessed. They are obsessed with power, bullying and, most of all, with sex. A cop from the hamlet of Tower City in Pennsylvania's bumpkin central mountains likes to sexually assault the ladies. A few years ago Eric A. Garonzik got off with a mere hundred dollar fine for forcing sex on a woman. He said she was a whore, so the court figured it was no big deal to sexually assault her. When it's cop versus whore, the working girl doesn't have a chance.

More recently, Cop Garonzik was charged with another sexual assault. Apparently his former girlfriend claims he raped her. His ego couldn't stand it when she broke off their relationship. She says he jumped her at two in the morning and forced her to have sex.

Breaking and entering, as they say.

[Ediror's Note: As we all realize, cops are bullies and thugs. Sometime after we published this article, our publisher got a threatening phone call about it. A woman using a false name and false phone number threatened that she was going to sue us (it's happened before; we always win). She wanted the information about Eric Garonzik to be removed. She whined that he'd done "his time" and was a bodybuilder. We were not bullied. Cops, prison guards and lawyers, the "Axis of Evil!" Bodybuilders are simply silly and insecure.]

Jeffrey Chiston is another cop with sexual difficulties. He's a cop in State College in Central Pennsylvania. A woman reports how he's been stalking her for years and vandalizing her car. The cop seems to also be stalking and harassing her new boyfriend. Apparently the cop needs attention.

Cops are a dangerous bunch. Their sexual problems become pretty severe. My view is to castrate the cops, just wrap some wire around the ball and turn on the juice - no, that's the kind of thing they do.

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"We are paid to have dirty minds,"
British film censor, John Travelgan, 1959

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