Vice President Richard "Dicky Bird" Cheney, learned that many old, invalid and slow-moving elephants have been given humane sanctuary on a farm in mountainous Tennessee. A group of compassionately concerned persons (softies, you know the type) have given asylum to the animals. Most have been the victim of circuses and abusive treatment in captivity. Being a shrewly bloodthirsty killer of animals and other living things, Mister Cheney has arrange to have the old elephants shipped to Texas where he'll be able to gun them down at close range. That would be a lot more fun that shooting tame quail. And elephants will make great trophies. Their legs will be chopped off to use as umbrella stands. Sawed off heads hanging in the executive mansion will reflect the Vice President's renown valor. The old elephants are pretty much helpless and should pose no danger to the brave Vice President, but just in case, the taxpayers will provide a small army of secret service and medical people as well as several SWAT teams to blast any invalid which may try to defend itself. In addition, the Great White Hunter will hide in an undisclosed location during the slaughter. Elephants are known to be sworn terrorists. The Vice President calls this kind of thing "hunting." Like the Vice President many Republicans like to kill helpless things or to have someone else kill them. They are especially addicted to killing foreign civilians. Conservative Christians, by comparison, prefer killing foreign leaders or, better yet, anybody who disagrees with their mythology. While Tennessee is certainly no great fount of individual rights and liberties, only Texas is savage enough to promote a proper elephant safari. It will happily accommodate Vice Presidential secret hunting excursions and has no objection to heavy drinking and the use of armored vehicles to get up close to the prey. For years Texas has used prisoners for sport. For the Vice President, however, prisoners would be way too dangerous. They might fight back. Dicky Bird Cheney doesn't like it when they fight back. He likes to keep prisoners in secret dungeons where they can be tortured for his amusement. Photographs and video clips are rushed to his living room. The helpless, naked men are the best ones. Because the elephants given refuge in Tennessee are crippled and slow, they are ideal for the Vice President's sport. They can't fly like quail and can hardly run. They are easy to target with advanced military weaponry should they elude his dead-eye aim. When one is drunk or stoned, it's sometimes hard to be sure what's in one's sights. He wouldn't want to get caught shooting another lawyer in the face. Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees" William Blake, circa 1802 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the New and Interesting Items Menu Return to the Works by Prisoner Authors Menu Return to the Politics and Politicians Menu Return to the Main Menu. Go to our site's Search Engine Send us Your Comments or Input.