An Open Letter To The IRS
Guards Are Cheating
On Their Taxes
By: Slouch "The Trembler" Faccer
SCI-Camp Hell

[Realizing that guards are cheats and crooks, the following letter has be sent by an inmate at SCI-Camp Hill to the government.]

Internal Revenue Service Fraud Division
US Department of Treasury
1111 Constitution Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20224

In Re: Tax Fraud

I understand that the IRS operates a program whereby it rewards persons who expose instances where Federal taxes are not being paid. I apply for such a reward as may be appropriate based upon the following information.

I understand that persons who work for wages or salaries are required to pay income tax on those valuable benefits and considerations which they receive as part of their compensation for employment, but which aren't paid in money. There appear to be many taxable benefits of this kind.

I draw your attention to all 15,000-16,000 employees of the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections ("DOC"). They receive numerous benefits and discounts upon which none of them appear to pay Federal (or state) taxes. Specifically:

    1. Each day each employee is given at least one and often more meals at taxpayers' expense. Each meal is valued at approximately $8. That's $46,000,000.00 in value per year upon which the DOC tax-cheats pay no taxes, neither income tax or sales tax.

  • 2. As a benefit of employment, guards and the rest of the staff are entitled to 2 years free college education on a television system paid for by the prisoners. The value of the benefit is estimated at approximately $900,000.00 for a year.

    3. Guards and members of the prison staffs receive substantial discounts on services which they receive as part of their employment and on services performed by slave labor. These benefits include, but aren't limited to:

    • Haircuts, estimated yearly value: $320,000.00
    • Auto, engine, boat repair, estimated yearly value: $800,000.00
    • Car washing and detailing, estimated yearly value: $1,200,000.00
    • Laundry and dry cleaning, estimated yearly value: $4,800,000.00
    • Clothing and clothing allowances, estimated yearly value: $900,000.00
    • Nursery products, estimated yearly value: $400,000.00
    • Furniture repair and upholstery, estimated yearly value: $100,000.00
    • Custom furniture manufacture, arts and crafts, estimated yearly value: $4001000.00
    • There are numerous other similar benefits upon which an estimated value cannot be placed.

The estimated total value of benefits received by the DOC staff upon which they cheat on their taxes is $56,000,000.00. I believe I'm entitled to a few percent of this sum, but I'll settle for half a million dollars.

If this is not the proper way for me to make this report, please advise me of the proper approach. Tax cheats like the guards put an extra tax burden upon the rest of us.


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