Do you have no skill or ability whatsoever? You can still be a prison guard. Are you a drunk or another kind of addict? You can still be a prison guard. Do you have no pride, no sense, no dignity? You can still be a prison guard. Are you a martinet or like to play dress-up? You can still be a prison guard. Do you crave to peek at naked men and handle their bodies? You can still be a prison guard. Are you lazy, shiftless.and lacking in motivation? You can still be a prison guard. Do You have profound psychological or personality defects? You can still be a prison guard. Are you a bully, a thug or a social misfit? You can still be a prison guard. Do you need to feel important and lord it over others? You can still be a prison guard. Are you feeble minded or intellectually deficient? You can still be a prison guard. If you are one of the few people who can't make it in the real world and who's willing to stoop to being a prison guard, there's a job waiting for you with the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment. You'll be coddled and cared for like an infant. Nothing will be expected of you except to harm people. Consider a fellow we'll call "Not-Quite-Monday," a guard at one of Pennsylvania's many rank prisons. He's old, surly, sullen and arrogant, a bullying know-it-all who suffers from brain hemorrhoids. He's unable even to read his own watch. He's hated by his family and by all those who know him. None of that was any obstacle to him being hired by the imprisonment industry. Poor "Not-Quite" couldn't make it in any decent job. His defects were too pronounced. His lack of a personality and of elementary social skills made him anathema. His difficulties with reading and writing, with reasoning and coping made him unsuited for employment in the private sector. But "Not-Quite-Monday" was welcomed into the imprisonment industry. The taxpayers were willing to pay him! They'll hire almost anyone, man or woman, who wants to be paid for doing next to nothing except being a bully. While only a few women are so desperate that they sink to being prison guards, more men are willing to do so. There's no real work, no demand for brain power (which is a good thing for old "Not-Quite"). If you find yourself at the bottom of the barrel, an outcast from decent society, take a lesson from "Not-Quite-Monday" and his kin, apply at the Department of Imprisonment. If you're a decent person, with even a modicum of pride, we advise against it. Good people need not apply! Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "When I consider how my life is spent I hardly ever repent" Ogden Nash, 1931 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the Public Enemies Menu Return to the Main Menu Go to our site's Search Engine Send us Your Comments or Input.