This article will be short, because we have to go turn ourselves into the authorities for including computer print-outs and snapshots in our mail. This is our second infraction at Graterford, the first one being the time we accidentally put a decorative rose stamp on the letter, and got it returned to us.
We who write to prisoners are SO hard-core that we even had the temerity to include in Graterford mail a picture drawn on the "Paint" program (Microsoft Suite, a highly subliminal and suspect program) of a little girl besides some sunflowers, and another of two people unloading a truck!
The object of the print-outs was to show off the artistic talent of the writer, who was enclosing them to a prisoner who also is an artist and may have been interested in the technique and the subjects. But, Oh, WOW! Are they against prison regulations!!! A large message needed to be imprinted on the letter returned from Graterford, which said:THIS IS A PRISON! and other warning-type stuff to put us in our places, out here. Because - in case you have not noticed - not only do prisoners have to be punished. but the people who write to them, visit them, or talk to them on the phone have to be punished. too. Don't tell a prisoner what is going on in the outside world, and especially, do not tell them there is an ocean!
Prisoners, at least those housed at Graterford, may not know that there is an Atlantic Ocean, and that people sometimes swim and play in it, in their bathing suits. We know this because photos of the Atlantic Ocean with some people playing in it (people so far away they were not even identifiable!) were returned to us, saying on the return envelope: THIS IS A PRISON!!!! And explaining that the stuff inside was inappropriate, just as inappropriate as an American Rose postage stamp, very scary, very threatening stuff inside these envelopes, just cut it out you guys who write to prisoners - or better yet, stop writing to them altogether, and leave them in the guards' hands!!!! (We all know what capable hands these are, duh.) Many of these prisoners must be kept from knowing about the ocean. If they knew there was an ocean, all Hell might break loose.
We try to envision the mail room at Graterford and other prisons, opening mail and inspecting it for contraband and inappropriate items. They come to work terrified, wearing gloves, visors and eye-protectors, and sometimes even steel toed boots. (We don't know why the boots, but are sure they can think of a reason they are needed to open mail.) Their hands shaking with fear and terror, nervous tics causing their faces to flench, they carefully review prisoner mail for contraband. Why! Look! This American Rose postage stamp might conceal a kilo of black tar heroin! Photographs can be formed into weapons, and guards might be subject to the danger of being poked by pictures of the Atlantic Ocean with people in it. Sweat pouring down their faces, the mail openers are the bravest and most courageous breed of all prison guards - they face the untold dangers of paper containers which have already been through the hands of various United States postmen, various mailboxes and sorting rooms, and on trucks and on planes. They only become ominous, however, when they reach the PRISON!!!! OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY SENT MAIL TO A PRISON!!! I don't know if my heart can take this. Allow me a moment to lie down.
As for drawings and original art which are produced by the dangerous, underground Microsoft "paint" program, they may contain diagrams and deadly plans. In fact, we have to assume that they do. When in doubt, assume whatever is in the envelope is contraband. Whew!!! A job well done.
What a travesty that while lives are rotting, freedom is forfeit, hopes are dashed and people and their families live and die at the hands of these prison employees - who would be serial killers or torturers of animals if they were not assigned to prisons - there is so much time to attend to little pieces of paper which were intended to brighten the life of the inmate just a particle, just a hello, just a "thinking of you". Even the smallest things cannot be permitted.
Hail to thee, you brave sorters of mails!!! Who knows what heroes lie among you? How many little drawings and photos of the beach or stamps showing the American Beauty Rose might have actually entered a prison without your diligent cowardice? We salute you, yes, we all salute you, you sorters of prison mail!!!
