Lawrence P. Stritz is an expert. He's a master chef and something of a culinary genius. Among his many talents, he's a great inventor of innovative dishes. In fact, he's so good in the kitchen, that he's employed by Pennsylvania to teach lowly prisoners how to prepare delicious delicacies (among other things). Chef Stritz serves a marvelous revision of shepherd's pie. He spells it "Sheppards Pie" as if it were a pie cooked up from "sheppards," whatever a "sheppard" might be. It's a very special dish worthy of admiring comment. Chef Stritz is already rightly famous for his lasagna and imported New Zealand Apples. His toxic jelly has won many comments and his frosty dining room is always charming. The Stritz "sheppards pie" is yet another triumph! As you probably know, real shepherd's pie is a nineteenth century dish. It's a (usually single serving) pie made with chunks of meat, often mutton or lamb, potatoes and other vegetables. It's always baked in a savory mashed potato crust. It was a workingman's entree, stew in a potato crust. For lowly Pennsylvania prisoners and the guards who oppress them, the master chef has revised the recipe. No longer are there chunks of meat, no more vegetables and not a trace of any kind of crust, certainly not mashed potatoes. The "sheppard's pie" Chef Stritz has his prisoner students make is an entirely different preparation. It's ground turkey, slimy and congealing into fetid clots. Resembling very runny diarrhea, Stritz's sheppards pie could be the result of an unwell cat having consumed decaying rodent. It's gelatinous bile in which ground poultry puddles in insipid, gray lumps. Its appearance may account for the fact that prisoners have given it the unflattering appellation of "shit pie." It's unclear why the chef calls his invention "pie." It has no crust, but Larry is a culinary genius. There are no doubt excellent reasons for what he does. Certainly his "sheppards pie" is an economic treat for the prison administration. A dollop can't cost even a penny. What's rancid turkey selling for these days? Another prison dining success is hot dogs with bones. One might anticipate an occasional bone in fish. Bones in hot dogs are rather less customary. Like most prison food, the hot dogs are really made from turkey. Sane persons wouldn't really eat them if they valued their health. Wieners with bones are even more unhealthful. Some prison guards display an unnatural fascination with sausages. Perhaps including bone in the mix caters to their obsessions. Shit pie and bony wieners are two of the reasons why the prison commissary makes such a big profit. Prisoners' loved ones send in money for the prisoners to buy food. Potato chips aren't so good for men, but they aren't as bad as shit pie. Always wiling to share credit, the generous chef wants his admirers to know that the recipe for "sheppards pie" is circulated by the central office of the Department of Imprisonment. They want all 42,000 prisoners to enjoy it. Cats and kitty litter are poised. Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "The parsnip, children, I repeat Is simply an anemic beet. Some people call the parsnip edible; Myself, I find this claim incredible." Ogdan Nash, 1942 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the Glimpse of Prison Life Menu. Return to the Main Menu. Go to our site's Search Engine. Send us Your Comments, Questions or Input.