Screw Your Civil Rights!
The Parole Board's Message To Citizens


By: Agent Double-O-Screw

In this era of Republican selfishness, you are one of the rarest of people: a good citizen with a generous heart. Just because you know an imprisoned person doesn't make you a second class citizen. Just because you are decent and kind doesn't make it okay to steal your civil rights.

Like most of Pennsylvania's thousands of prisoners, the one you know has been held in prison long past the time when he should have been paroled. Because you're a good soul, you decide to offer the exoffender a place to live so that it will be easier for him to be paroled.

You live in Philadelphia and, in response to your kind offer of help, along comes a parole agent. We'll pretend that his name is David Hor. He wants to "inspect" your home to see if it's okay for a scumbag parolee to live with you. Or, at least that's what he claims. You might think that his real motivation is to do everything in his power to discourage you from helping the parolee.

Being what he is, Hor won't approve you and your home until you sign a wavier of your Civil Rights. To help the pathetic prisoner with a home you must sign an agreement which strips you of legal protections and rights. Screw your civil rights!

Firstly, you must waive your right to privacy and security. To help the parolee, you must agree to let the parole agent or a gang of any number of them enter your home at any hour of the day or night, without any kind of reason or any kind of a warrant. You must agree to let them search at any time and in any way for any reason or no reason at all! Screw your civil rights!

Of course you must also give up your right to own a gun, any kind of a gun, even a shotgun or target rifle. In addition, you must give up your right to possess any kind of a weapon: butcher knife, ax, chain saw, club. Agent Hor doesn't make it very clear what isn't included. Screw your civil rights!

Also, drugs are out! Too bad if you're sick, old or infirmed. If you need medication, you can't have the parolee in our home. Screw your civil rights!

Then there's your phone service. In order to host the parolee, you must give up the phone service and phone privacy that you want. You must allow special monitoring equipment on your phone. Screw your civil rights!

You must agree to allow Parole Agent Hor and his ilk point guns at you. Screw your civil rights! And, if the exoffender should miss an appointment with his agent, you must agree to "routine searches of the residence day and night until the parolee is in custody." Screw your civil rights!

You must agree to give up your legal rights and right of choice. If the agent decides that he wants you to appear at a hearing, you must agree to go and to give evidence even against yourself. Screw your civil rights!

If you do anything the agent doesn't like, he can charge you with the crime of "obstructing administration of law!" Screw your civil rights.

Being a decent citizen who thinks his government,even the Parole Board, respects constitutional rights, you think I'm making all of this up. You think that no official would so trample your civil rights. Okay, call for yourself: 215-560-2211. Ask the agent who answers your call to read to you the terms of "The Rules Pertaining To Anyone Providing A Residence To Individuals Paroled To An Intensive Supervision Unit."

What does this sound like to you? Is the Board intentionally trying to discourage citizens from giving homes to parolees? Damn right!


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