During a visit to a Pennsylvania correctional facility a few months back, I was required to take the "ion scan" test. It was approximately 9:15 AM. Since visiting hours began at 9 AM, I assumed the "machine" should still be fairly clean.1 I wasn't worried about failing the test anyway because I'm not a drug user or drug trafficker, nor am I closely connected with anyone who uses drug. Well, needless to say, I failed the test. I tested positive for heroin! I was given a form which said that I'd tested positive for an illegal substance and I was told that I had to have a non-contact visit.2 However, when I found out that the person immediately before me, as well as the next three visitors after me, also failed the test, I asked the guard who was operating the machine to clean it and test me again. He agreed, but I still failed! Due to the protests of me the others who had failed, the guard administered the test to himself. Well, guess what ... he failed! The guard called the lieutenant who supervised the visiting room and administered the test on him. The lieutenant also failed. That's when they finally decided to shut down the machine and tear up the papers that had been given to us. I'm now a nervous wreck every time I visit.3 Regardless of the situation, nobody wants to fail a drug test.4 If I was falsely accused that day, it could happen again! They need to remove those machines! Footnotes 1 The drug sniffing gadgets are so unreliable that after a few uses, they seem to become contaminated and to produce many false positives. Before submitting to the test a citizen should ask that it be cleaned and/or its cartridge replaced. 2 Prisoners in the general prison population are generally allowed to sit beside their loved ones during a visit. With a "non-contact" visit, the persons are separated by a glass partition. They cannot touch and they speak either through a screened wicket or by telephone. 3 We are convinced that the real object of the drug sniffers is to discourage persons from visiting their imprisoned loved ones. It's universally recognized that the gadgets are so unreliable that they are worthless for any purpose other than the intimidation of the law-abiding citizens who visit prisons. The gadget's real aim is wreck families and to make you so uncomfortable that you desert your loved ones. 4 Anyone who "fails" the bogus drug scanner test should instantly file a formal written complaint with the superintendent of the prison and vociferously complain to the top: Jeffrey Beard, PhD, Box 598, Camp Hill, PA 17001