In his wisdom, the Pennsylvania Secretary of Imprisonment, Jeffrey "Double Shot" Beard, has taken decisive action to protect me. I no longer have to endure the trauma of looking at the dread naked titty. I've long been of the view that Beard's prison system is obsessed with all things sexual (and all things C2H5OH, too). I've been told that old drunks can't get it up and are envious of men who perform normally. Highly moral old Double Shot has dictated that prisoners, all adults, many murderers, robbers, jaywalkers, will no longer be permitted to view R-rated movies, X-rated movies or the horror of NC17 movies. The prisoners will still have to strip themselves naked in front of guards of both sexes, fido-the-dope-dog and dozens of fellow convicts, but, thanks to the Double Shot morality, the prisoner won't have to see any offensive nudity on film. You see, stripping prisoners is humiliating, degrading and punishing. That's perfectly okay in the Beard morality. Looking at the naked titty might give pleasure. Pleasure is strictly prohibited in the Beard morality - sounds a lot like Christian hypocrisy, doesn't it? Known as the "Janet Jackson" regulation, the new rule protects me from the horrors of the female jug. I'm still encouraged to watch mass murder, torture, violence, drunkenness, explosions, arson, high-speed chases and other crime-training films. I'm just barred from watching anything sexual. Someone's nuts here! Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "The more laws, the more offenders" Thomas Fuller, 1732 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the Prison Rape and Sex Menu Return to the Main Menu Go to our site's Search Engine Send us Your Comments or Input.