The Cheney Torture Cannon
By: George Feigley
Cofounder

Why are all the cops grinning with glee? The United States military recently demonstrated its first ray gun! Really, it's a ray cannon. The US army pretends the gun is "non-lethal." Of course that's a lie. Your government lies a lot!

The ray cannon is a kind of portable cooker. It's a gigantic microwave oven. The truck-mounted device projects microwaves from a broad panel. People attacked by the weapon feel like they're being cooked, set on fire. By slightly reducing the wavelength of the cannon, the victims actually would be cooked in their skins or burned alive. No wonder the cops are so gleeful.

It takes American cruelty to devise such a new and vicious way to harm our fellow creatures. The ray cannon makes cops grin. They have another way to harm and torture citizens. Tyrants around the world will be placing their orders. The American military is always happy to export death. The anti-civil libertarian fanatics and prison guard types love it! What a dandy way to torture and to kill.

God bless America!

It would be ideal to name the new gun for Vice President Richard "Dick" Cheney. He pretends to be a hunter, but he's the kind of guy who likes to kill, not to hunt. Mr. Cheney shoots small game while it's being held down in bushes or snares. He likes to kill birds that are tied in shrubs. If it's a slow day, Dick shoots his fellow "hunters."

Vice President Cheney is behind many of America's uncivilized actions. He's a big advocate of torture. He likes it not because it's useful in getting information, but because he likes to harm and hurt and injure. We call those people "conservatives."

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