The Ravioli Was
Toxic

By: Lew the Jew

Lawrence P. Stritz is the fellow who runs the kitchen at the state prison at Frackville in East-Central Pennsylvania. Maybe he's not such a bad guy for an imprisonment type, but the food coming out of his kitchen is crap. After one unpleasant experience a smart aleck prisoner submitted a friendly inquiry.

"At luncheon on Saturday I was served a ravioli-like material at the prison messhall. Unadvisedly, I ate three of the proffered objects. They produced an unfortunate gastric consequence. It was impossible to divine what, exactly, the objects contained. Perhaps the white maggot-like strands were rice [not a common ingredient in ravioli].

  • "Were the ravioli-like objects actually toxic?
  • Did they contain anything that's customarily consumed as food by human beings?
  • Who made the objects and where? North Korea, perhaps or Myanmar; maybe Chad. I believe they're big consumers of grubs in Chad."

"Chef" Stritz dutifully and politely responded although he didn't answer the questions. Maggots have been served before in the Frackville messhall. The point is that Larry indulged the prisoner's inquiry.

Within a few days, the smart aleck prisoner was trucked across the state to another of Pennsylvania's many and very bad prisons. He ended up at Laurel Highlands. To his chagrin, the food was almost as bad as at the Frackville prison. One particular example was the potato salad. They don't trouble with cooking the potatoes!

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