The briefing room is crammed with scores of the nation's best known "reporters." The world is in turmoil. Two wars are brewing, tens of thousands of victims are starving, almost 2,000,000 poor souls languish in U.S. prisons. The "reporters" are bursting with questions.
What do they ask? They want to know about the President's dick! What's it been up to lately? Does it have any cute identifying marks? Has it gotten a kiss or two? How does it cope with claustrophobia and dampness?
This is the President of the United States we're talking about! The frenzied "reporters" are shouting questions! Suppose they insisted on a blow by blow (no pun intended!) account of what your dick had been into recently, would you figure it was any of their business?
What sort of people are so obsessed with a dick that isn't even their own? The "reporters" are like adolescents with a sexual obsession. Do we have so little to worry about that we can afford to obsess with Presidential penis?
The absurd religious crazies think that dick was one of God's worst blunders and that it is a nasty appendage. The right-wing political fanatics think that dick should be licensed and only the state authorized dicks would have any fun. The annoying blue-haired matrons are mad that they didn't get a dick of their own.
As for me, I just wish mine could go home to Rebecca.
I don't care about the President's dick. Let him get it bronzed for all I care. I care about the President running the affairs of the nation. What he does during recess and who he does it with is none of my business and none of your business. It sure as hell isn't any legitimate concern of the irresponsible buffoons of the press corps.
I don't defend the President. I don't like Republicans even though he's the least bad Republican president we've had since Eisenhower. I very strongly oppose his lust to execute prisoners and to stuff even more people into prisons. But, what has his dick to do with it?
The American media are no better than peeping toms. It clamors to spy on the intimate conduct of the President as if it were an entertainment celebrity. Suddenly, the most famous dick in the world isn't some pron star's horse-sausage, it's the President. That's wrong, simply wrong.
Personally, I think it's a kind of penis-envy of the press. Like the rest of the society, the worst of the feminine values have infected the media. We hear about people instead of about events or ideas. It's a woman's thing!
The annoying old babes on the annoying but ubiquitous talk show, hostilly whine that the President's dick has been naughty with a "21 year old woman." Old women are always hostile to the young women who attract the interests of powerful men. Why are we listening?
We don't want to listen. The "reporters" want us to listen. They want us to share their perverse mania for spying into bedrooms.
And that's the reason I've written this. It's not about the President, poor jerk, or even his famous peter. It's about the insanity of the media. The boys (and many too many girls) behind the invention of the news need to carefully rethink what they are doing. Justice has suffered because of the irresponsible media, especially the plastic people of television who are obsessed with appearance and annoyed by substance.
The line between news and entertainment has vanished. The rift between fact and fiction has been bridged. We are made into a nation of shallow biddies, gossiping over the back fence and cattily finding our faults in other people.
My advice is that the press corps should enjoy its own dicks and let the President enjoy his. When you're done, how about telling me how the Mexican freedom-fighters are faring.
Return to News Items Menu.
Return to HOMEPAGE.