I'm an Administrative Assistant. I've just authored a directory for people with nothing to say and lots of words to say it in. To become an effective Corrections bureaucrat, aspirants must master the use of the utterly meaningless.
Here is a complimentary lesson to encourage you to buy my book. It's available from Correctional Industries for $117.85 and a contribution to the Ridge campaign to become America's first Tsar.
The most important phrase for Corrections bureaucrats to master in writing to inmates is "be advised that." IF you are writing to a human being or a member of the staff, use "please be advised that." These words have absolutely no meaning and may be used in almost every communication to add bulk without contributing to the message if any.
Suppose you want to tell some lowly inmate that you reject a grievance that he's struggled to submit. In private industry you might write something economical but polite such as "Sorry, your grievance is rejected;" a mere five words.
Such treatment is not satisfactory for a Corrections bureaucrat. Firstly, you should never be polite. ALways be oppressive and aspire to be nasty. Secondly, there are far too few words and all of them have useful meanings. Write as many words as you possibly can making as many of them as possible meaningless.
You might, for example, write "your grievance is not satisfactory as submitted. Block B was not properly completed. You will be given the opportunity to submit your grievance again provided Block B is properly completed;" 30 words!
To add to the bulk of the rejection without adding a jot of any meaning, just preface the message with "please be advised that;" four additional words! Please be advised that your grievance is not satisfactory..."
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