The following excerpts are from a recent interview conducted by the Pennsylvania enlistment officer of the Gay and Lesbian Pride Coalition with a pretty young prison guard. For this publication, his name was changed to protect his privacy. Eye: First off, I ain't no fruit! Lot's of people working in corrections might be pansies, especially the females, but I'm straight. I just happen to like to look at naked men. Lots of guys are like that. It's perfectly normal. Ms Toklas: I notice that your nickname is "Eye." How did you happen to be called that? Eye: My name don't mean nothin'! Don't think that it's anything sissy. I've had different names. My brother caught me peeping on him at the toilet and used to call me "Penis Envy," even in front of the other soldiers. But it didn't mean nothing. Lots of guys like to look at a penis once in a while. It's perfectly normal. Ms Toklas: But why are you called "Eye" now? Eye: It don't mean nothin'. A girl in highschool used to call me "Spot." She said I was a dog. I ain't! In fact, I'm pretty good-looking. Guys tell me that all the time. I just have this little patch of white hair on my head. The doctor said most likely it's from the inbreeding. Different guy's working at the prison have little spots. It's perfectly normal. Ms Toklas: I see, and the nickname "Eye" is something that the inmates call you behind your back? Eye: Only a few of them are brave enough! It don't mean nothin'. They like to say that I eye the men. It's just my job. I have to look them over when I strip-search them. Ms Toklas: Certainly, I understand, but you did say that you like to look at naked men. Eye: The old ones are best. I make them bend over and spread 'm. They have soft, fleshy bottoms. Most guys like to look at soft rumps. Ms Toklas: Why do you prefer old inmates? Eye: It's perfectly normal. First off, they're slower. It takes them longer to get all the way naked; like a striptease. You get a better chance to really appreciate everything they've got. Second off, they've got hair on their backs. That's sexy. At least some of the guys think that it is. Then, don't forget, they have white hair all around everything. My grandpa had white hair when I used to visit him. Ms Toklas: But, don't old men smell funny? Eye: Yeah, I like it especially when they bend over and spread 'm. It's perfectly normal. Ms Toklas: How long have you been a strip-search guard? Eye: It wasn't easy getting the job, I can tell you that. Some fairy was doing it before me. He didn't want to give it up even for money. He's abnormal. He got into trouble for touching inmates in certain areas of their bodies and for letting his female partner watch. She's a freak, you know, one of them who likes women. She wants to humiliate men. Anyway, somebody snitched on him so I was given his job. Of course, I don't touch anything - unless it's absolutely necessary, or sometimes if I get too excited. It's perfectly normal to get excited around naked men. Ms Toklas: And you've been strip-searching for a long time? Eye: No, just for a few months. But sometimes I get to go around at night and peep in on them when they're sleeping. You'd be surprised, but some men are not careful to keep covered in their sleep. Some might even respond to arousing dreams. It's perfectly normal. Ms Toklas: Don't you think that you may have some special tendencies which would make you a candidate for the coalition? Eye: What you mean is that you think I'm a fruit, but I ain't. I'm perfectly normal.