Make believe that you confront 5 state cops. You pull a knife on them. You whip bricks at them and their car. In an effort to get away, you grab a woman in a car and try to force her to drive you away. Pretend that you get charged with 3 counts of attempted murder and 5 counts of felonious aggravated assault!

Okay, now the question, given all that serious criminal conduct, where do you think you'd be today? Looking at a life sentence in a state prison, right?

Not so for Orville W. Keel! You see he was a prison guard. He simply walked away form it and back to his gravy job of doing his worst with prisoners.

Okay, more Lets Pretend. Make believe that in 1996, a couple years after you pulled the bricks-at-the-state-cops caper, you get involved in another incident. You get off with only 5 counts of recklessly endangering another person. In giving you a tiny slap on the wrist, the "judge" whines that you have such a violent temper you can't work in "law enforcement." The reason that the "judge" thinks you should be out of the guarding business isn't for the well-being of those low-life prisoners but because you might cause a problem for you fellow workers.

After all that, where do you think you'd be? Well, for prison guard Orville W. Keel, he was in jail; not as a prisoner, but as a guard!

Orville W. Keel worked as a guard for 15 years at the Bedford County, Pennsylvania Jail. He got away with all sorts of crimes and violent conduct until - until pussy finally got him! Aah, as every married man knows, the power of the pussy is never to be underestimated!

There were women in the Bedford County Jail, not many, but a few. Pennsyvlania has become so delighted with jailing more and more women, that the state Department of Imprisonment ("DOC") even rented space in the Bedford County Jail so that it could ship more women there for Orville to "guard."

Not until there had been many complaints did the DOC decide to look into the sexual charges. Some of the female prisoners reported that guard Orville W. Keel liked to handle certain plump, pink and pungent parts of prisoners' persons. They also said that Orville W. Keel liked to compel the imprisoned omen to (as they say) stroke shorty, grope-the-dope or pump the puny pepperoni.

The sheriff went to check it out. Yep, it was true. The women prisoners had been corrupted. They were adroit in certain forbidden presidential practices.

The DOC "investigated." Now things were getting serious. If the DOC didn't approve of the level of sexual assault, it would quit renting cells and that would cost Bedford County money!

Now, just a little more Let's Pretend. Suppose that it had been you force-fondling the prisoners. Where would you be? No question, you'd be locked up! And locked up for a good long time.

Not so for Orville W. Keel! He was a prison guard, so he was simply fired, or retired, if you prefer. He was out, not for the welfare of the prisoners but for the pocketbook of the county.