The Cost of Saying
N0!

By: Elmer Miller,
Statistician

The Pennsylvania Imprisonment Department has a very expensive scheme for prisoners' complaints. It's an elaborate, lengthy and unworkable obstacle course called DC-ADM 804. The goal of this procedure is to cover up misconduct by guards and the prison staff. It's designed to obstruct a prisoner's constitutional right of petition and to shield state employees from having to answer for their misconduct. The system also aims to keep prisoners from taking their claims to court.

We taxpayers are stuck with huge costs related to the operation of this scheme to shield wrongdoers. For starters, there are elaborate paper forms and computer software. I wasn't able to get a clear idea of the costs of these materials. Using comparable materials from other areas, I estimate materials costs at about $80,000.00 a year.

To make the self protection scheme work, the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment as a so-called Grievance Coordinator in each of the 26 state prisons. God only knows what those people actually cost us. Being conservative, I project their cost at at least $520,000.00 per year.

On top of the Grievance Coordinators there are the employees who actually write the rejections of the complaints and the clerks who type the NO! on the papers. They must cost us a minimum of $130,000.00 a year. The clerks at least do other useful tasks unrelated to covering up staff misconduct, so I've taken that into account.

After being told NO! at the prison, the injured prisoner takes his frustrating struggle to the Department of Imprisonment's central office. At central office there's a whole department dedicated to saying NO! to prisoner complaints. I've estimated the considerable costs of overhead for the four offices at central office and the 26 offices at the various prisons at a mere $2,200.00 apiece per year or $66,000.00. The much larger cost is the salaries for the NO! Sisters at central office. There are five of them, all women (what else?).

Sharon Burks
Kristen Reisinger
Tshanna Kyler
Tracy Pollock
(a clerk)
$54,299.00
$46,572.00
$38,201.00
$38,201.00
$27,247.00

That comes to $204,520.00 for the NO! Sisters, a pretty penny! But even that sum doesn't take into account the huge cost of benefits for the NO! Sisters. Each one costs us over $9,100.00 just for medical benefits. Other perks amount to about $4,500 apiece. That's another $68,000.00.

Putting all these costs together, we come to the shocking total of over a million dollars or over $235 apiece just to say NO! to each prisoner complaint.

Forms, Software, etc. $80,000
26 Prison Grievance Coordinators $520,000
Grievance Respondents and Clerks $130,000
NO! Sisters at Central Office $272,520
Overhead for Office Space, Equipment, etc. $66,000
TOTAL COST $1,068,520.00
Cost For Each of the 4500* Grievance Filed Each Year $235.00
* 4500 is an approximate number.

Anyone with common sense realizes that it would cost far less tax money to correct prison problems than to cover them up. Saying NO! requires no brain and no effort, so it fits in perfectly with the mentality of imprisonment. The problem is that it's a very expensive cover up.

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words put into the mouth of Toshiro, the cartoon apprentice chef at the Happy Sumo Sushi House by Nell Scovell in The Simpsons, 1991

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