In The Matter Of
Jon Yount

I have a friend named Jon. He came from a poor depression-era family. They couldn't afford to put an "h" in his name. I don't hold that against him. Now he's as old as dirt. He's a prisoner. He'd like "real" people (not just other prisoners) to visit him. He'd like new friends with whom to correspond. So, I'm going to tell you a little about him.

I'm a crotchety old curmudgeon, so evaluate my remarks accordingly. You should drop Jon a line and evaluate him for yourself. One warning, my God but he's long winded; especially if he gets his hands on a typewriter!

Jon's been in prison a long time. He's doing life. He's no couch-potato, no spectator to events. The old man (his picture is above and in his ad in the penpal section) is always involved in projects to help people.

Jon's proud that he graduated from Penn State University and boasts about the school at every opportunity. He taught high-school in one of those rustic counties in Central Pennsylvania. And, he's traveled all over the western United States, which is, as they say, a whole-other-story.

Jon is always active in legal and legislative efforts. If prisoners could vote, he'd be the mayor of Huntingdon, Pennsylvania, the town in which the prison is located (or actually, Smithfield Township). Jon has worked on voting rights for prisoners (I think he fancies the glamour of mayor-dom). He's litigated important issues for lifers such as minimum, parole and other humane considerations. He's worked on projects for the parole of all prisoners, and dabbles in numerous legislative projects. Unlike me, Jon actually respects politicians. I say license the crooks!

Jon's friendly, out-going and active in prison organizations. He officiates at many sporting events and can't resist being a football-cop. But, he's so tight with his money that his wallet's grown moss.

I've got here a little card on which he's written a few facts about himself. I'll share it with you. He lays claim to being a "writer." Yeah, okay, he's a writer, but you measure it in pounds instead of words! He asserts that he's a "paralegal." Since we often work together on legal matters, I can assure you that he's more knowledgeable, clever, devious and ambitious than any lawyer I know, so, "paralegal" under-states his involvement in the law., but also he has no formal legal degree, just what counts" integrity.

Jon says he's a musician. Could be; I've never heard him make music. He says that he's an organist and a keyboard aficionado. I've never known him to lie, but an Elton John, he's not! I do know that he's experienced with computers and programming.

Jon's been in prison a LONG time. He's lonely (as are many of us). He says he wants "correspondence and visits from an attractive female." What he really wants is a woman to visit him now and then so he has something to look forward to and someone to pamper.

Jon wants you to know that he's "single" by which means he's unmarried. In case you can't tell from his picture, he wants you to know that he's a "male prisoner," but I've got to tell you that he talks a lot about Viagra. He says that the age of his visitor is "unimportant." The truth is he'd prefer a "mature," sensible woman who will care about him.

You've heard of the "Good Housekeeping Seal Of Approval," well this is my warranty about Jon, he's healthy, interesting, informed, active, opinionated, conscientious, sincere, social, clean, trustworthy (and all that other stuff that good-scouts are supposed to be).

Okay, so go to visit him.