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Philadelphia, in short, is a pesthole seething with overdrawn
accents and dietary conundrums; a place where no self-respecting
person would abide unless it were either a matter of unfortunate
temporary necessity, incarceration or Down's Syndrome gone wild.
(The latter covers 90% of the population.)
The streets are filthy, the inhabitants are a pasty group of globally uninformed fat trolls, the sidewalks are littered with the dregs of human existence, passed-out on steam grates for warmth, and the climate is depressing. Everything is covered with a layer of grime. I avoid the place like the plague and I'm proud to be from South Florida...that is until every spring when those inbred, pale and glowing, fat bastards parade their unique physiques through my neighbOrhood here on the beach. (By the way, it's a "beach," not a "shore," you stupid fucks! No one wants to see your droopy, pasty man-boobs! You can always tell a Northeastern idiot before you hear the wretched accent. They have a look about them. It isn't pleasant. Please stay out of Florida. I don't go to your home. Stay out of mine. I'm from here. You're not. Let's keep it that way. We, in short, hate Philly tourists. You clog our streets and disrupt our lives. Go home and stay there. And when you leave, please tuck a Canadian under your arm! Editor: The writer is a bit rabid, we think, but you get the point; people get fat in Philadelphia and people steal elections in Florida. I was born in Philadelphia and I admit to being fat, but the city is largely blacks who can hardly be characterized as "pale." [BK] You are welcome to use or republish
any of our material.
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