| The Pennsylvania Department Of Corrections,
("DOC")
operates a training academy for guards. It's located in Elizabethtown,
PA. In the vast complex trainees take such costly studies as "Keys and
Their Turning," "Handcuff Operations," "Guard-Tower Sitting" and "Clubs,
Mace and Stun-Guns For Amusement and Sport."
The academy also teaches extensive classes on searching, peeping and related skills. Peeping is a major activity of prison guards and one of their favorite pastimes. Every guard must take a 40 hour course on how to strip-search a prisoner. It is one of the most popular classes at the academy. Most male guards have a bizarre fondness for gazing at naked men. So many guards applied to take a refresher class in strip searching that this year the DOC academy has opened a special school dedicated exclusively to the art, THe Kay Owens Institute Of Prison Strip Searching And Sphincter Admiration. The Institute offers only graduate level classes in removing prisoners' clothes and looking at their naked bodies. It was named in honor of a valiant female guard who was blown away by a particularly noxious gastric gust as "Mad Vincent" Babinski bent over to spread his buttocks for her close inspection. While the advanced classes are open to both female and male guards, it's mostly male guards who are fascinated by prisoner rumps. For taking the class, the student receives a $290.00 bonus and all the prisoner he can eat.
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