Get Rid of the Aliens
By: Sandra Feigley
Publisher/Cofounder
I'm sure you've noticed all the aliens running around in your
neighborhood. They have the nerve to act like they belong here.
Some of them even speak strange non-English languages.
As we all recognize, only English is the decent tongue for real Americans. That's what I speak. By "Americans," I don't mean those savage American natives, the "Indians," and their un-American languages. I mean the Real Americans like me who stole the land from the savages and slaughtered their slovenly families. Personally, I really dislike all aliens. I resent and fear them and their weird customs and cultures. It's time to get rid of all the aliens. We must start with the Irish and their litters of Catholic brats. They're the worst of all, and there are so many of them. They breed like rabbits and take jobs from us real Americans. Everybody knows that the Irish are lazy drunkards who do nothing but brawl and rape. CNN's Lou Dobbs has the only correct solution. Build a wall around Ireland and send all these Irish packing back home. That will save America. Then there are those greasy Italians. They have to be deported, too. Did you even hear their absurd language? "pizza" and "linguini" and even "lasagna." Those aren't proper English words. If CNN's Lou Dobbs could have his way, English would be the only approved language, no more Italian or French (like "lingerie" or "brassiere" or "Champagne"), and none of that dead tongue, Latin. What decent American uses "et cetera" or "e pluribus unum?" Take it off the Great Seal and off the money. It's alien. Next your innocent children will start to think it's okay to use words like "graffiti!" Don't forget to deport the Polish. We all know how dumb they are and the dirty Jews, get rid of them, too. Get rig of their non-Christian language and their indecent holidays. What's wrong with Christmas, anyway? It was good enough for the pagans. CNN's Lou Dobbs has the only workable solution, build a wall, maybe a whole bunch of walls and expel the aliens. Get rid of the Africans. Lots of them are black. That's not good. That's not like me. After we ship out the Africans, we have to start working on getting rid of the Mexicans and that doesn't even start on the Chinese and Japanese. There are millions of those undesirables. Build a wall that shuts them all out, and make it a crime to use foreign words, "sushi" and "taco" and "chow mein" (chaau-mihn), no more of that kind of un-American chatter. Get rid of them all, all those aliens. Just leave me and the few REAL Americans. But, still, start with the Irish. They're the most undesirable of all; O'-this and Mc-that. Deport them all. They're all "illegal" one way or another. Canadians might not be so bad. They're white and speak the correct language. Lots of them are pretty much like me so they have to be okay. But the Hispanics and their Spanish language, that's no good. After rounding up the Irish and the Italians and those damn Poles, I think we need to have concentration camps for the Hispanics. Spanish is a filthy language. All those Guatemalans want to do is labor and make the rest of us look bad. CNN's Lou Dobbs has it right, build a fence with barb wire and a broad moat swimming with alligators and piranha. We just won't call them piranha. That's Portuguese, an alien word! The more I think about it, the more I realize that we need to deport all the people I don't like and the ones I'm afraid of and the ones who threaten to take my job or my social position. Take all the black folks and brown folks and yellow folks and anyone who's different than me. Do what CNN's Lou Dobbs preaches, hate the aliens and get rid of them.
"Mendoza: I'm a brigand. I live by robbing the rich. You are welcome to use or re-publish
any of our material.
|