We've sent the following letter to the Chief Hypocrite of the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment. It was motivated by his ridicules rules about dirty books, magazines and films. In what appears to be a concerted effort to screw up prisoners as badly as he's screwed up or, simply to make them as queer as possible, Chief Hypocrite has pontificated that the most dangerous thing in the Pennsylvania prisons is the naked titty. Neurotics seem to have a lot of trouble coping with reality. They get drunk, feel ashamed and take it out on others. Jeffrey Beard, PhD Secretary of Imprisonment Box 598 Camp Hill, PA 17001 Dear Doctor Beard: I recently overheard a gaggle of idle guards chatting. "Motherfucker - fucking - cock sucker - bastard - faggot!" The milling drones included 3 or 4 COs (I forget which), a surly sergeant and an arrogant, seemingly stoned lieutenant. "Fucker - mother fucking motherfucker - fucking - cocksucking - bastard - faggot - asshole - she can suck my balls!" Certainly there has never been a shortage of hypocrisy and shameless dishonesty with your Department of Imprisonment. Overhearing snippets of the guards' banter highlighted for me how totally removed from reality your department and policies are. "Fucker - motherfucking motherfucker - fucking - cocksucking - bastard - faggot - asshole - bitch, she can suck my balls!" Your staff's language is a direct, albeit crude, contradiction to your extremist censorship of smut. 45,000 men who are old enough and tough enough to suffer in your hellhole prisons can't have normal sexual interests or see the dreaded boob. They can, however, be subjected to the staff's rhetoric. It's very often directed at them as a form of abuse. What kind of hypocritical nonsense punishes a man for looking at a picture of a naked woman or reading an erotic novel while at the same time, immersing him in a staff that's filthier, cruder and much more sexual than any publication or film? The only difference I can see is that the smut produces a "pleasant" effect while the staff ("fucker - motherfucking motherfucker - fucking - cocksucking - bastard - faggot - asshole - bitch, she can suck my balls - I popped her in the parking lot - what a twat!") produces an unpleasant effect. Apparently your strategy is simply against pleasure for everybody but yourself. I admit that I don't remember precisely what your staff said, but I've given you the fair gist of it. Personally, I don't care what kind of language you or your staff employ except where it's employed to denigrate prisoners. I am concerned that your extremist anti-sexual policies may effect the normalcy of men under your care. I am: Edgar Saint George Editor-in-Chief Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "I would have made a good pope" Richard M. Nixon, circa 1990 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the Glimpse of Prison Life Menu. Return to the Prison Rape and Sex Menu. Return to the Main Menu. Go to our site's Search Engine. Send us Your Comments, Questions or Input.