An Important Guard
Told Me How Great
He Is

By: Old Fat George

A very important prison guard confronted me outside the prison messhall. He wanted me to know how very important he is. I had foolishly thought that it was petty to make a big issue over a half pint of milk. I was wrong, of course.

Our conversation went a little bit like this.

BULLY!!I!ME!!OBEY!AUTHORITY!I!
I!I!I!ME!BOSS!AFRAID!BULLY!!
SCREAM!INTIMIDATE!!I!I!ME!
ME!ME!IMPORTANT!VERYIMPORTANT!!I!
I!I!I!ME!ME!OBEY!!SCARE!FRIGHTEN!
UPAGAINSTTHEWALL!!I!IMPORTANT!
I!ME!!OBEY!AUTHORITY!I!I!I!I!ME!
BOSS!AFRAID!BULLY!!BULLY!
BULLY!BULLY!!!SCREAM!INTIMIDATE!!
I!I!ME!ME!ME!IMPORTANT!
VERYIMPORTANT!!GRABYOURBALLS!
I!I!I!I!ME!ME!OBEY!BEAFRAID! SCARE!
FRIGHTEN!I!BULLY!BULLY!I!I!I!
IMPORTANT!I!ME!!OBEY! AUTHORITY!I!
!I!I!I!ME!BOSS!!!!
AFRAID!BULLY!!SCREAM! INTIMIDATE
I!I!ME!IMPORTANT!VERYIMPORTANT!!
I!I!I!I!ME!ME! OBEY!!
SCARE!FRIGHTEN!I!IMPORTANT!I!
ME!!OBEY!AUTHORITY!I!I! I!I!ME!
BOSS!AFRAID!BULLY!!SCREAM!!!
INTIMIDATE!!I!I!ME!ME! ME!
IMPORTANT!VERYIMPORTANT!!I!I!I!I!
ME!ME!OBEY!BE
AFRAID!SCARE!
FRIGHTEN!I!IMPORTANT!AUTHORITY!!!!
Please, Mr. Hubin, you have me
terrorized. I'm really afraid.
You're right. You're the
boss. I'll meekly obey you.
I don't think your silly. I
don't think you're ridiculous.
I'll obey everything you
say. I'm scared. I'm
really really scared! I'm
trembling. I'll do whatever
you tell me to do, order me
to do. You don't have to rave.
Slobbering isn't necessary!
I'm overwhelmed with your great
authority. No need to hit me
in the crotch. I know how
important you are, how
masterful, manly and strong.
I don't think your inane -
very much. You're just great.
Please, Mr. Hubin, your hairy
nostrils are flared. You're
panting and sweating. I'm
really scared. I'll obey YOU.
You're always the boss!!
Wow! are you great!
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"There are more fools in the world
then there are people"
Heinrich Heine, cir. 1850

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