of Your Average
Pennsylvania Prison Guard
By: Randy the Rapist
Unlike the healthy minds of citizens in all other parts of the
civilized world, Americans are utterly obsessed with sex. They're
obsessed with OTHER PEOPLE'S sex lives. The average
American isn't much interested in his or her own sexual life.
He or she is almost sexually dead. Americans enjoy far less sexual pleasure and far less sexual activity that than the people of
Europe, South America and/or other civilized places. It seems
to be part of the self-hatred that Americans have adopted from
the crazy Christian dogma. Insanity is clearly contagious.
G.G. Stoctay's new report on the sexual activities of Pennsylvania prison guards will be of very little interest to most of the world. It's of great interest to obsessed Americans. Since Pennsylvania prison guards are among the most sexually obsessed of all Americans, the Stoctay report should intrigue them. What follows is a brief synopsis of the report. Adults may request a copy of the full report by emailing to guardsex@prisoners.com and including a private email address. We'll email the report to that address free of charge. As a whole, Pennsylvania prison guards are sexually pathetic. Perhaps the most interesting fact in the new report is that like prison guards in other places, those in Pennsylvania are intensely disliked by their friends, families and even persons they meet socially. Nobody wants to have sex with them. Over half of all prison guards (58%) get almost no sex at all (less than 6 times a year). Masturbation is almost all they can manage. Most guards are unmarried, usually divorced, separated, shunned or simply detested. Even those who still have spouses get little or no sex. Normal wives hate their guard husbands and are extremely reluctant to have sex with them. Almost a quarter of all guards are queer. Even those guards who keep a their spouses are very often homosexual. Among female guards as among female cops, lesbianism is extremely widespread. The report says that about 82% of female guards in Pennsylvania are queer "Y-diners." While many of the male guards are homosexual, they tend to differ from ordinary queers. Apparently most gays of both genders form more or less lasting relationships. They seem to share almost marriage-like lives together. It's different with queer prison guards. As with the more or less heterosexual guards, the queers can't keep partners. Nobody much likes them. As a result, a lot of guards have sex with prisoners. The guards either force the prisoners into sex with threats or punishments. Just as often, they payoff the prisoners with favors or treats. When it comes to sucking dick, guards don't seem to much care how they get it. Many, perhaps most, queer guards have wives and even children. They use their marriages as camouflage to hide the fact that they take it in the rump. Their wives may not even realize that papa is queer. --- To each is own, we always say. Since almost all (83%) of Pennsylvania's prison guards are alcoholics, drunks or at least heavy drinkers, the queers conceal many of their homosexual trysts by pretending they're at bars or "clubs." A favorite excuse is the notoriously evil VFW or the Legion. Both these clubs have long been hangouts for gay men, especially older gay men. A large percentage of heterosexual Pennsylvania prison guards are impotent. They can't bone-up, perhaps because women laugh at them. The so-called "erectile dysfunction" (as the TV ads call it) promotes a brisk sale in all the hard-on medications. As a group, guards consume more Viagra and its boner cousins than any other men under sixty. Almost all heterosexual prison guards rent whores and sluts, frequently bar girls. Prison guards favor the cheapest cunt. As a result, they usually hire addicts who'll screw just about anybody (even Fido) for a few bucks. Of course, women of that class commonly suffer from contagious diseases. By age 35 most Pennsylvania prison guards are infected with one nasty condition or another. In recent years they have contacted MRSA from whores. The Mcgarry: While whores, playing with themselves and being gay account for the majority of guard sexuality, there are a number of other rather common perversions. The most common of these guard perversion is the so-called "mcgarry," sometimes spelled "mcgerry." It's really a vicious form of sadomasochism. Cruelty is a sexual turn-on for at least 18% (almost 1 in 5) Pennsylvania prison guards. The mcgarry guard is verbally and physically abusive or bullying. Its goal is to make one's sexual object suffer and feel badly. Most mcgarry guards abuse prisoners for sexual pleasure. With prisoners the mcgarry includes demeaning the man, calling him names and, when possible, roughing him up. The mcgarry guard becomes sexually aroused by destroying a prisoner's dignity and personal property as well as by actually inflicting physical pain. It's much more common for the sadistic guard to get his nut off with prisoners than for the queers to do so. Most queers have some ethics. The mcgarry has none. Nowadays only so much sadism can be inflicted directly on prisoners. As a result, the mcgarry guard typically abuses victims in society. In a few cases they beat up their wives and kids, even their pets. That seldom can last very long before the woman dumps him. The ordinary mcgarry guard hires a whore, usually sick, old and fat. For some reason fat whores make better victims of the sadist. Beating the whore is not always the torture of choice. The mcgarry guard usually gets off by demeaning the woman, slapping her, perhaps punching her womb. Almost as often the mcgarry stabs her with pins and needles. On some occasions he resorts to cutting his victim with a knife. Threatening is also a favorite sadistic sport. A large number of the sadist's victims seem to be poor Mexican or Hispanic women. The mcgarry often concentrates on torturing tits and/or genitals. In some cases he uses a whip or other more bizarre sex toys such as oversized dildos. The Conti: Much less common than the mcgarry, but sharing many elements of sadism, is the so-called "conti." The conti is queer and anal, nasty and petty. He finds sexual bliss in shoving lengths of 2 inch PVC drainpipe up his ass while flogging his emaciated member with bacon grease. All the while he moans and fusses like a woman. Much of the time he's drunk or stoned on drugs. The conti guard also likes enemas, big ones administered deeply and often spiked with wine or paprika. He uses sex toys, frequently reaming himself with ponderous dildos while pretending he's a girl. The conti guard can get only a limited amount of sexual pleasure with prisoners. He enjoys sniffing toilets and prisoners' undershorts or butts. Like other, more overt sadists, he obtains deep pleasure from demeaning prisoners. He particularly likes to call them names. That's especially true of those to whom he feels inferior. When he's able, he gives himself a boner by squeezing prisoners' rumps or admiring their nuts. For that reason he likes to pat-down prisoners and strip search them. It gives him a hard-on. The conti guard may like to play dress-up and often wears women's panties. Not uncommonly, he hires male prostitutes to ride him doggy-style. He usually picks older homeless men for his high colonies. As a result, the conti guard usually as contracted unpleasant diseases. He generally has a wart wreathed asshole, sack and dicklet thanks to the papilloma virus. The conti spreads disease to other partners if he has any. He may spread disease to prisoners, too. The Mcpeak: A fairly common perversion among Pennsylvania prison guards is the "mcpeak" also spelled "mcpeek." The mcpeak is simply a peeping tom, a voyeur. About 6% of all male prison guards are mcpeaks. They typically divide their perversion between peeping at prisoners and peeping at smut and people, almost always women, in society. The mcpeak's favorite pastime seems to be peeking on women while they use the toilet or shower. When women aren't readily available, they stalk the prisons watching prisoners use the toilet. It's a particular delight for a mcpeak to catch a prisoner who's masturbating. That really turns on a mcpeap guard. The mcpeak likes to search a prisoner's cell looking for dirty pictures and magazines. He may go off right in his pants just from looking at sex pictures. Many mcpeaks even like to look at their own dicks. Most often mcpeaks are fat, unattractive men whom nobody likes. They make up for it by liking themselves. At least they admire their own genitalia. It's not uncommon for a mcpeak to have his prick decorated, even tattooed. Nothing is quite so startling as a morbidly obese guard with fire tattooed around his little peter like a dragster. The Carr: One of the less common perversions is the "carr." It's not so much a perversion as an excess and it effects less than 2% of Pennsylvania prison guards. The carr guard is a fat slob, a Homer Simpson without any of the endearing qualities. He's a copycat and a drunk who spends his sexual time beating off. He does very little screwing because nObody wants him. Instead, he spends his time alone in the bathroom with quarts of cheap beer. He plays with himself almost every day, sometimes more often. It's not uncommon for him to puke beer while he's polishing the wood. The carr has a rich if ridicules fantasy life. With peter in palm, he imagines that he's humping an attractive woman who actually likes him. It's more pathetic than perverse. The carr guard follows suggestions from others. Another guard may say something or the carr may see or read something which he then uses in a fantasy. He's a copycat easily led and misled. The typical carr guard is obsessed with titties so, most of his sexual daydreams center on grotesque hooters. Other times he pretends that a pretty girl picks him up and is the one who's giving him the hand job instead of him doing it himself. Such a guard isn't able to get much of his sexual satisfaction in prison or from prisoners. As with other things, he's just a follower with a substandard mind, a substandard body and a substandard personality. The Shannon: Even more rare than the conti, the "shannon" is a filthy perversion effecting only a tiny number of prison guards. Like other guards, the shannon is sadistic and a drunk, but those obnoxious habits are not his sexual perversion. The shannon is combative and extremely dishonest. He obtains a perverse sexual pleasure from simply lying. Since he's usually drunk, the pleasure can seldom get him boned up. The shannon's real sexual forte is golden showers, you know, playing in piss. The shannon guard likes to be pissed on, especially to have a strange whore piss in his face and mouth. He also likes to urinate on the whore if she'll put up with it. All the liquor he consumes makes the shannon guard vomit a lot. That just adds to his sexual pleasure. He vomits on his partner or induces her to throw-up allover his belly and dick. At best, it's messy and a tad smelly. While there are certainly other odd and not so odd perversions among Pennsylvania prison guards, we've covered the high points from the Stoctay report. The most important point is that prison guards are basically different from normal persons. We doubt that A. Kinsey ever studied them for his ground breaking reports. Prison guards are sexually unhappy and unusual men and women.
"Marriage has many pains, You are welcome to use or re-publish
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