Of Glenn Beck and
His Corporate Masters
By: George Feigley
Cofounder
Some haven't yet discovered Glenn Beck. It's a pity.
He's one of the great philosophers of our age. He's more than
simply conservative and a spokesman for the financial interests
of big business. Mr. Beck is a great man, a patriot in the model
of the great Father Charles E. Coughlin.
From the Shrine of the Little Flower in rural Royal Oak, Michigan, Father Coughlin was a superman teaching truth, justice and the American way during the 1930s. He used the radio to educate the masses to his pure way of thinking. That's what Glenn Beck is like, Father Coughlin. He uses both radio and TV. He even sounds a little like the great Coughlin but in a rather sissified way. Mr. Beck has been called the "Pope of Extremism" because of his religious fanaticism, but I say he's a Christian oracle raving against the evils of science and logic. Facts aren't everything! Only Christian mythology is the true wisdom. One of the first things I learned from patriot Beck is that global warming is a fake, just a liberal political ploy. I'm unsure what the liberals are trying to gain with their global warming scare, but Mr. Beck has taught me that it's phony, just a scheme to cost big business precious money. It's better to die than to spend big business' money. When I read the lengthy articles in such liberal rags as National Geographic Magazine, I realized how they were lies. The photos must have been faked. Mr. Beck's bosses in big business know that global warming is a fiendish falsehood. Glenn Beck also taught me about the silliness of energy efficient light bulbs. He laughs at them. He makes fun of them. Folks like that lying Al Gore and, oh, yes, General Electric Corporation were saying that by using better light bulbs we could cut our use of electricity almost in half. They said that it would save a lot of money very year and cause much less of the supposed pollution of the power plants. Mr. Beck scoffed. I scoff, too! Energy efficient bulbs are bad, a liberal plot. He explained how ridiculous it was to save electricity. We mustn't take profits away from the utility companies. And power plants are our friends. They don't pollute. Even if they do, pollution isn't rally so bad. Would big business do that just to make a little more money? Anyway, how sick can a little pollution make us. It's better to die than to make big businesses spend their money to reduce harmless pollution. As bad as the global warming hoax is, universal health care is even worse. Making war is good. Making people healthy is bad. People shouldn't be healthy. The ones who matter, rich people, are already healthy. If they need a doctor, they'll get one. Who needs poor people? Why keep them healthy? Big business and the wealthy don't want the government to help keep poor people well. Besides, the poor would have to wait to receive treatment. It would be better for them not to have any treatment at all. Then there's no waiting. Mr. Beck has also championed the cause of little Joseph. Joseph is the 5 year-old son of an American spy and collaborator, a snitch for the US. The child was horribly burned and disfigured while playing in his yard in Iraq. The assailants were apparently his father's enemies, Iraqis that his father had betrayed to the American occupying force. The little boy was another innocent victim of America's invasion of Iraq. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis have died because of the American invasion. That's okay. They're only foreigners and big business made a lot of money. There's big money in killing. There's no money in keeping poor people healthy. The child was brought to America and subjected to a series of horrific medical procedures. It assuaged the father's conscience and the guilty feelings of the American aggressors. The boy suffered, but we felt less guilty. Glenn Beck educated me about the reality of the situation, too. It wasn't really our fault, none of it. The child wasn't being exploited for political propaganda. The boy deserved to undergo countless, agonizing surgeries. It was patriotic to keep cutting him up and patting ourselves on the back for helping him. He's only an Iraqi, after all. He's not rich and even if his daddy is a US spy, it's okay to use the kid to make us think that we're good people. We must be good. We make money for big business by invading third-world nations. The Irish Catholic priest, Father Coughlin hated liberals like President Franklin Roosevelt. He was an anti-Semite who hated the poor. Glenn Beck is a lot like the political priest. He, too, is full of hatred especially hate of liberals. It goes much deeper than his religious bigotry. His doctrines is hatred of helping people. Mr. Beck is a prophet profit. Ordinary people exist to serve and benefit the wealthy and the big businesses they use to amass fortunes. Until I heard Glenn Beck and saw him on television (he's handsome in a rotund, double chin, slightly effeminate kind of way) I couldn't understand why anybody would need a million dollars. Now I recognize that one can NEVER have enough money. It's like alcohol, a drug of addiction. I used to think that some amount of money was enough. The rest was too much and should be shared with those of lesser means. Mr. Beck straightened me out on that silly idea. Enough is NEVER enough. Big business and the wealthy need it all. Liberals are evil to try to limit pollution and war and global warming and medical profits. They are satanic to try to limit big profits. So long as a buck can be made, big business deserves it. Stop yammering about universal health care and global warming and energy efficient light bulbs. Do what the wisdom of Glenn Beck teaches; get busy serving your masters and Mr. Beck's.
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