Keefe Commissary
Mysteries

By: OFG

Keefe Group, an out-of-state corporation with addresses in Saint Louis, Ohio and New Jersey*, wheedled a contract with the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment to supply all the goods sold in the prison commissaries. They didn't exactly bribe the prison system, but they promised it many millions of dollars in kickbacks; millions of dollars gouged from penniless prisoners and their impoverished families.

The bumblers who run the prisons cooked up a scheme that was supposed to save money. They wanted to "save" money so that the guards and staff could get bigger paychecks. The scheme was to have one prison commissary fill the orders from several prisons. The orders were then to be shipped to the respective prisons and distributed to the prisoners who'd bought the goods.

The "centralized baging" scheme hasn't worked properly since it was concocted - not for one week. Not everybody employed by the prisons is a jerk, but they've got a corner on the market.

In an effort to make the greatest profits, Keefe expanded its offerings to include the sale of sneakers, watches, lamps, bulbs, underclothing and so forth. Under present Department of Imprisonment rules, Keefe is the sole supplier for these necessities that prisoners must buy for themselves - not at all a good example of American competition and capitalism.

One of the neatest aspects of the Keefe racket is that prisoners have no idea what they're buying. A prisoner can order a greeting card to send to his hospitalized wife, but he has no idea what the card may look like or what it says. He's expected to simply pay his money and accept whatever happens to be delivered to him, an Easter card, for example.

In the same way, he can order sneakers, but has no idea of what they look like. He may pay for a watch. He'll be told how much it costs, but what does he get for $37.50? It's a pig in a poke.

I wrote a grievance saying that it was unreasonable to expect me and other prisoners to buy things sight-unseen. A prison administrator wouldn't spend $37.50 for a watch that he had no idea what it looked like. I said that prisoners should be provided with photographs of the goods or examples should be put on display.

How dumb could I be!? Prison administrators explained, "no!" I don't need to know what I'm buying. It might cut into Keefe's mammoth profits or the prisons' kickbacks. I'm being taught the charms of gambling and the lesson of being cheated.

Footnote
*James Thiess
Keefe Group
301 Mill Road
Edison, NJ 08837

Rebecca's Bargain Antiques
Collectible Vintage Photos
Fine Prints - Old Maps
Sheet Music - Old Books
Elegant Antiques and Collectibles


"Love means
never having to say you're sorry,"
nonsense put into the mouth of Ali MacGraw
in Love story, 1970

You are welcome to use or republish any of our material.
Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source.