Scotch Tape Is Scary
By: OFG

One of the 1,832 rules of the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment allows me to have my typewriter repaired to keep it in serviceable condition. My typewriter (it's a Brother) is quite important to me. I use it everyday just to write to my wife. It's a pretty good machine, but not indestructible.

The little plastic tabs which hold the cover over the keyboard broke off. Following the rule, I taped the tabs back in place, a makeshift repair.

There was a shakedown. The prison was searched. Guards don't like it if prisoners do the best they can. Guards want to dehumanize and demoralize prisoners. It makes the guards feel a little less trivial. Not everybody employed in the prisons is a jerk, but they have a corner on the market.

My repaired typewriter was discovered. The dire scotch-taping caused alarm. Sergeant (now lieutenant) Harner was alarmed. He seemed terrified of the scotch tape. He frantically ripped the tape from the tabs. I tried to explain that it was a typewriter and I'd repaired it pursuant to the rules.

When I grieved the damage done to my typewriter I was put in my place. Prison pules don't govern what the staff does. A guard can do what he pleases. Prison rules only govern me.

It must be inconvenient to be born without any personality.

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"We're the victims of a foul disease
called social prejudice, my child,"
Thomas Mitchell in Stagecoach, 1939

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