Too often we forget how marvelous conservatives and Republicans are. Now we're reminded to be more grateful. They have made English the official language of the United States. We should be grateful. Learning languages is hard. No longer will we be burdened with diversity and obscene terms such as taco or sushi, salami or bratwurst, cabernet or strudel. We'll have just English, the common tongue of the Rednecks. English is the language the Republicans (except George Bush) already speak - sort of. That should reduce the stress on the conservatives to learn new words and ideas. Official English is not what it may seem. It's not another incidence of intolerant bigotry. It's not an elitist literacy testing. For Republican legislators, Official English is purely self-sacrifice. It's a thing for the benefit of the people. Almost all Republican legislators are lawyers. The only things keeping lawyers in business is lies and the arcane Latin used in the courts and in the legislature. Without the Latin gibberish, who needs a lawyer? We can lie for ourselves. Without the Latin gibberish the legislature won't sound so grandly mysterious and important. No more jargon like "quorum" or "sine die" or "ad hoc" will sully the legislative halls. It's long past time when English should have been the legislative language. The Republicans have done a good deed. Lawyers profit from the cryptic language of the courts. Official English will cure all that. There will be no more "nol-pros," "amicus curiae" or "res judicata." Even ordinary citizens won't suffer gibberish such as "semper fidelis" or "e pluribus unum." (Lets get those dollar bills changed and dump the marines.) Books won't be "ex libris" and peace won't be "pax." Many of us think that racist Republicans want to hold down immigrants. Many of us think that racist Republicans want to make workers feel inferior, unworthy, excluded and unrepresented. Many of us think that racist Republicans feel that they are too important and too stupid to learn foreign languages. Rich people don't have to adjust to new languages. It's the poor who must adapt. The millions of working immigrants don't deserve to be represented. They deserve to be taxed without being represented. So, good for the conservatives and Republicans who've brought Official English. Make those impoverished peons coming across the border learn a new language. America isn't strong enough to adapt to diversity. Make those Inuits and Indians that we robbed of this land learn the conqueror's tongue. And I don't want to hear anymore "pizza" "et cetera!" Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "What part of the room is mine?" Greta Garbo in Ninotchka, 1939 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the New and Interesting Items Menu Return to the Politics and Politicians Menu Return to the Main Menu. Go to our site's Search Engine Send us Your Comments or Input.