How Taxpayers Overpay Prison Lawyers
By: Jethro Elder Bodene
The Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment must be doing a lot
of illegal stuff. Why else would it need over a million and a
half dollars worth of lawyers?! The "DOC" as Pennsylvania's
Department of Imprisonment is fondly called, employs about 15,000
bureaucrats, mostly mentally challenged prison guards. Why would
it need 19 lawyers? That's a lawyer for every 789 drones. Can
they really be doing that much evil stuff? YES, THEY CAN!
Published statistics indicate that in Pennsylvania, the "average" lawyer in private practice makes just under $300,000 a year. That a lot of money, but lawyers must lie, cheat, steal and do things which (as Robin Williams observed) even rats won't do. Such slimy work commands a big pay check. Decent people don't sell their integrity the way lawyers do. These are the bottom feeders of the economic world. But, the real point is that Pennsylvania's prison lawyers are paid only $82,576 on average while private practice shysters are hauling in over three times as much. Does that mean the prison attorneys are less slimy? Not on your life! Pennsylvania's prison lawyers are actually much worse from an ethical standpoint than lawyers in private practice. They're paid less money because they're incompetent, bumblers. They still lie a lot. They cheat and steal every bit as much as private practice attorneys. They just wear the hundred dollar suits instead of the 25 hundred dollar suits. They sell their integrity at discount prices. The truth is that prison attorneys don't have to be good. Pennsylvania's courts are not fair or just. Even third-rate DOC lawyers easily get victories because the courts are as crooked as the lawyers are. Weren't Commonwealth Court judges lawyers first? As for legal skills, many prisoners are a lot better than the DOC attorneys who oppose them. To the courts, they're prisoners, so they don't count. We taxpayers may wonder what we get for our $4300 a day in DOC attorney fees. There's one aging woman, Debra Sue Rand. She's been a prison lawyer since 1984, the second longest serving in the department. Even with that much seniority, the 54 year-old is only paid $90,010 a year! A guard captain with the IQ of a snare drum makes as much! The matronly Ms Rand happily defends prison guards involved in VERY foul deeds. We came into contact with her when she defended Michael J. Conti for his lengthy history of stalking, harassment, threats and attempts to do serious physical harm. We taxpayers dumped a bundle on Rand so that she'd pretend guard Michael Conti wasn't seriously dangerous and perhaps perverse. Why not simply correct the problem? Lawyers prefer to lie. Pennsylvania prison lawyers are paid as little as $55,865 for 30 year-old Jaime Boyd to a high of $106,056 for Suzanne Hueston. She slithered into the Chief Counsel job after only about 10 years with the department. Her criminal predecessor in the post was involved in a drunk-driving tragedy which injured a grandmother and several children. Prison lawyers defended him, too. There are a lot of drunks and addicts in the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment. Billy Fairall is presently the oldest DOC attorney. He was born in January of 1945. I wonder why his daddy wasn't off fighting in the Second World War like all decent men were. Billy is tied for the second highest paid of the prison lawyers. Both Billy and Randall Sears bring down $102,769 of the taxpayers' cash. Supposedly, these guys have "supervisory" positions so they deserve the extra thousands. How many bosses do 19 lawyers really need? Lying doesn't require a lot of supervision. In all, Pennsylvania's Department of Imprisonment attorneys cost $1,568,940 in salaries. We taxpayers spend just about that sum again for the bloated support staff of secretaries, paralegals, helpers and lackeys. In addition there's well over a million dollars for paper clips, staples, rubber bands and high-end computers. The whole bill for DOC's legal fight against decency and the citizens is about $5,000,000! Because of the corruption and abuses of the Pennsylvania Department of Imprisonment and its staff (mostly intellectually challenged bullies); prisoners, their families and those who must deal with the unsavory department often complain. Rather than do what's right, rather than correct mistakes, evils and abuses, the policy of the DOC (but not of other agencies) is to turn every complaint into a legal battle. That's the reason that the Department if Imprisonment is still operating as it was in 1933. But don't be afraid of the battery of prison lawyers. They're just folks like Robin Lewis and Tim Mark. Without biased courts what can they do? The smart move would be to cut the DOC budget and scrap drunks and lawyers. One should be plenty if the department were ethical.
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