Your esteemed senators have a real advantage over us randy inmates. The senators have their expense accounts. You taxpayers give them bushels of your money. I mean you give them tens of thousands, but you begrudge me 18 pennies an hour!
We all recognize that like cops, most senators are crooks. They're politicians, aren't they? What is more disreputable and deadly dangerous in all the world than politicians? Okay, not all of them are slugs. A few are spotless examples of chaste morality.
Consider 33 year-old, married Senator Daniel Delp. He's one of those "family-values" kind of guys from York County, a ridged beacon of honest morality and Christian virtue. Of course, Delp is a self-righteous Republican able instantly to point out the flaws in you and me.
There are these two whores, an honorable, if messy profession that's vital to the well-being of the society. Like public phones and public toilets, public pussy is central to coping in a developed civilization.
The whores are hard working girls, scarcely more than teenagers. They make their way in the world by renting out their spare room, so to speak. These particular whores claim that they rented some prime swampy space to Senator Delp and his buddy.
The whores don't seem to realize how erect a member of the community Senator Delp is. They claim to have earned their sex-fee, but that would mean that Delp would have broken the silly law about renting a prostitute's services. Would a good Republican hypocrite do such a dastardly thing?
The disrespectful working women go even further. They seem to report that the pillar of the Senate charged the pussy to the Senate expense account that you taxpayers gleefully pay.
Politicians are hypocrites, but surely not family-values Senator Delp. He denies putting any little parts of himself into any naughty rented passages. He assures us that the $200 charge to the Senate expense account was an innocent accounting error. Why, it would be a crime to charge nooky to the taxpayers and a serous crime to falsify expense records. Would Delp lie, cheat, steal? Isn't he a family-values senator?
We horny old prisoners support Senator Delp. We appreciate how hungry a man, even a married senator, can get for a woman. What would be more natural? Like I say, I haven't had even a sniff of sex in 20 years, and if I even kiss my wife during a visit, I can get slapped into the prison hole. That's not the hole that I crave.
Maybe Senator Delp has the same kind of desperate frustration even though he's married. You taxpayers don't begrudge him a poke to two at your expense, do you?
Personally, I think that $200 for rental of a teenage woman's intimate services is tax money well spent; better spent than on guards and locks and throwing me into the hole. My only question is about a senator's wife. And I don't have any particular married lady in mind.
Maybe, a senatorial wife is older and as familiar as a rerun, but, if a whore is worth $200 on the Senate expense account, shouldn't a wife be entitled to a couple of bucks just for old time sake? Isn't it fair for the taxpayers to give equal pay for equal services?
The Pennsylvania Senate has made hundreds of bad laws. Sexually frustrating prisoners like me is one of them. Another is making it a crime to rent tail. I urge Senator Delp and his political henchmen to decriminalize prostitution at least for members of the Pennsylvania Senate. The senatorial penis must be more deserving of tax supported recreational space than the prisoner penis (would it be penal penis).
And does a whore behave so much differently than a politician? Both
sell themselves to the public. A whore has the good grace to be honest
about it. Do you begrudge a couple hundred tax dollars to a teenager with
essential services to provide to the Pennsylvania Senate?
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