| Disaster
|
Christian Cause
|
| After years of pain
and suffering the arch-conservative, William Rehnquist,
Chief Justice of the United States, finally died. |
The Christian god killed
Chief Justice Rehnquist in order to have a Christian puppet
appointed in his place.
God didn't like Rehnquist anyway because
he'd once thought some women deserved equal
rights. |
| Vast deadly brush
fires in Spain and devastating floods in Hungary killed many and caused great lost of property. |
The Christian god connected
these two disasters because they have the same cause, abortion!
Bad women in American are getting abortions, so the Christian
god punished Spain and Hungary.
As all Christians realize, money
is much more important than people, so the property damage was
great.
Spain and Hungary were picked because they've failed to
get Fox News. |
| The space shuttle
was almost destroyed when tiles making up its skin were smashed
by foam during take off. | The Christian god didn't
like a woman invading his heavenly space.
In fact, he doesn't
like women much at all.
Because he's a nice god, he didn't kill
the astronauts.
A great Christian preacher had personally asked
him to give them a break and promised to put up a darling Christmas
creche and a Ten Commandments plaque in a Jewish cemetery.
|
| A gigantic earthquake
ripped apart wide areas of Pakistan, India and
Afghanistan killing upwards of 25,000 people, mostly children. |
The Christian god slaughtered
the Pakistanis because they'd been born where the wrong god is
worshiped.
He punished the Indians because they were born
miserable, dirt-poor and Hindu.
Every Christian knows that that's
a crime.
The Christian god massacred Afghans because some of
the thousands of American invaders in their country played with
themselves. |
| A series of huge and
dangerous fires devastated large tracts in Southern California
causing great loss of wealth. |
The Christian god burned
California because some of the people didn't support the Christian
president, Saint George W. Bush.
Christians know that their god
is a Republican.
Because god gives rich people money, it proves
that they are good and poor folks are bad. |
| A catastrophic tsunami
killed thousands and washed away large areas in Thailand
and other parts of Southeast Asia. |
The Christian god killed
the thousands and caused all the agony and suffering because many
of the people were vacationers who were having a good time.
Some
were dancing and listening to music.
The Christian god doesn't
like people to be happy or to have a good time.
to suffer. |
They deserve to suffer.
| The worst floods in
decades swept through the Republican state of Kansas causing
enormous damage.
The floods didn't wash away any creches or Ten
Commandment plaques. |
The Christian god destroyed
Kansas because some of the citizens are suspected of being closet
queers.
It's okay to kill, but it's a serious crime to love
somebody of your same sex.
It's really bad to suck on certain
forbidden parts of the body; except lesbians are not quite as bad
if you're allowed to watch. |
| More than 1,000
American invaders and over 15,000 mostly innocent Iraqis were
slaughtered in Iraq.
The country was plunged into civil
war and utterly destroyed.
It's antiquities were lost. |
The Christian god killed
the thousands and destroyed the country because some persons were
suspected of enjoying sex when they weren't even married.
That's
very bad.
Even worse, many didn't pay the required tribute to
Christian clergymen.
The Christian god likes to be bribed or
he'll kill you.
Killing is the Christian way. |
| The worst storm in
a hundred years followed by a strong earthquake destroyed much
of Guatemala and Central America.
Thousands of people
were buried alive under seas of mud.
Villages, families and crops
were wiped out. |
The Christian god doesn't
like human beings.
He particularly dislikes the poor, hardworking
peasants of Latin America because long ago pagan Mayan Indians
occupied the area with a mighty civilization.
They had gold.
They didn't give it to Christians.
Besides, most of the civilized
people of Guatemala are Catholics.
They hardly count as Christians
at all. |
| Tens of thousands
of people in the Sudan were murdered in a bloody genocide.
|
The Christian god massacred
the starving masses in Africa because they were only black Africans
who hardly count as human, anyhow.
Besides, many of them weren't
even Christians.
Many of them smelled bad. |
| Two hurricanes
devastated the Gulf Coast of the United States causing
unprecedented destruction, and loss of life in Florida, Alabama,
Mississippi and Louisiana.
The storms cost billions of dollars.
|
The Christian god doesn't
like the Gulf Coast because some of the people are homosexuals
and some like dirty music.
Many of the people aren't even white.
The greatest devastation was heaped on New Orleans because they
were know not to be Republicans and some of them were very poor
and didn't pay money to Christian preachers. |
| The avian flu
pandemic started in the far east.
At first it killed only a few
humans, but hundreds of thousands of birds.
It's projected to
take millions of human lives by the time it runs its
course. |
The Christian god cooked
up the deadly avian flu because American schools teach evolution.
If there were such a thing as evolution, there could be new viruses
developing all the time.
That can't be true, can it!
Besides,
god hates birds and wants to help the rich corporations which manufacture vaccines and drugs. |
| The worst flooding
in many years killed many people and destroyed much property in
New Hampshire.
Roads and villages were especially hard
hit. |
The Christian god destroyed
New Hampshire, one of the poorest of the United States and
faithfully Republican, because a Democrat was planing to run for
the Senate.
Furthermore, some people in Japan are not Christian
and a guy in Lavia let his girlfriend get an
abortion. |