My heart goes out to the poor guards at SCI-Coal Township near Shamokin, Pennsylvania. The poor dears are terrified. All guards frighten easily, but the pussies at Coal are even more cowardly than most. They whine that they are in danger from the big-bad prisoners. I know that I, for one, pity the pathetic darlings.
The guards bawled to mama. They cried to their union, The Amalgamated Gutless Wonders and Wimps. Quivering bullies always do best in mobs, gangs and unions. Bravely, the AGWW sallied forth two of its bravest advocates to lament to the press.
The Rape Shield Law won't let me name the two brave advocates. Guards are too timid. I'll just call the union's champions Jane Squatopee and Brenda Lube-Jelly (of the rectal Lube-Jellys).
The media in Shamokin, Pennsylvania was delighted to "interview" the brave guards. The prison is the big "business." Shamokin has a jaded history of thugs dressing up as women, calling themselves "Molly," and beating victims to bully them. It's in the genes.
Jane Squatopee explained why the poor guards are so frightened. One of their number, Molly Statebucks, was "assaulted" by a big bad prisoner! It's true that no injury was actually done, but Molly got bumped around pretty good. Molly is scared that the next time he clubs a prisoner, the prisoner might fight back. Squatopee is scared. Sister Brenda is scared. ALL the AGWW is scared!
The brave guards remember the "Riot!" In 1997, after suffering endless brutal abuse, a few prisoners actually stood up and fought back. Squatopee didn't think that was fair. What fun is it being a slobbering thug if your victims are going to fight back? Abusing prisoners is no fun when they might defend themselves!
Being a racist, sister Brenda is especially scared of those no-good Hispanic foreigners. They are terrifying, not like decent Irish and Polish folk. What's more, lots of those sneaky "Latino" foreigners are members of unions, sorry, gangs. They might be able to fight back against the guards' gang.
Jane Squatopee is not too smart, but his heart is in the right place. He wants the prison to be safer at least for his fellow thugs. His solution is (are you ready) more guards! Being a bully, he thinks like a bully. He reasons that more guards will better bully the big-bad prisoners.
Like I say, Jane's not too bright, but he's right that there's going to be a LOT more violence in the state prisons against the guards!
What Squatopee and the other thugs of the AGWW don't seem to realize is that they are pawns. The chief thug, Governor Ridge (of the rectal Ridges) wants violence in the prisons. He wants a full blown riot or two. He wants to call up the National Guard to crush the boogie man prisoners. It will get him on CNN and give him the national attention he craves in order to become Caesar, sorry, president. The few dead prison guards are just martyrs to the political ambition of a truly evil person.
Jane Squatopee and the whole AGWW should be happy to sacrifice a few lives in order to promote the maniac who would be king.
The Ridge Reich is doing everything in its power to bate the prisoners into rebellion. Ridge's chief jailer is the agent carrying out the scheme. He knows that even a mouse will fight back (or "riot") if it's tormented badly enough. Himmler Horn has made it his mission to torture the prisoners until they rebel. He's sure to succeed and pawns like Jane Squatopee and his fellow members of the AGWW are going to be sacrificed. Do you think either Horn or Ridge cares a jot about a prison guard who doesn't contribute to the Republican coffers? The chief thug wants them to contribute their blood.
The guards at SIC-Coal and at all other state prisons have good reason to be scared. Some of them are sure to die. The way to save the guards lives and also the lives of many prisoners, it to operate the prisons humanly and decently. If the guards' union really wants to protect its members, it should get rid of Ridge and Horn. The guards should force the administration to treat prisoners in ways which promote peace. Bullying won't work.
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