We've received a letter and some records from one of our founders, an imprisoned writer. We'll just call him "OFG" (for "Old Fat George," an appellation he commonly applies to himself). We'll use his information to educate you, the public, about the so-called prison Grievance System.

The Pennsylvania Department of Corrections ("DOC") makes much of a scheme it's adopted by which prisoners are supposedly able to express complaints about various abuses. The DOC has given the scheme the typically pompous title, Consolidated Inmate Grievance System and designated it Administrative Directive 804. The DOC pretends that the scheme works to resolve prisoners' problems and to correct abuses. Of course it's all nonsense. The real intent of the scheme is to frustrate the orderly resolution of problems while giving the pretense of affording a forum. The DOC exists on dishonesty.

Under this scheme, the prisoner must first take his complaint directly to the person he's complaining about. This gives the offending staff member the excuse to punish the victim for "lying to an employee," or "disrespecting an employee." We wonder how it's possible to disrespect a guard.

After going to the fox and compiling about his eating the chickens, the victimized prisoner is required to complaint to the "appropriate staff" before filing a formal complaint. What this really means is that the guy must go to the fox's boss and complain that the fox is doing what the boss put him up to.

Yes, it's all very surreal!

"OFG," our imprisoned correspondent only has an IQ of 164 and has only been imprisoned for over 20 years. He's not nearly clever enough to figure out who the "appropriate staff" might be in any given situation. It keeps changing in order to frustrate the injured prisoner. OFG wrote to the prison Grievance Coordinator for clarification.

The 15 day period of limitations prevents most grievances because of the procedural stalling.

Suppose that you're a prisoner and a guard beats you up. This happens about 3 times a day across the state. When you recover enough, you must first go to the guard who beat you. You must tell him that you don't like the fact that he broke your face and that you are going to complain about him. Of course, he'll be perfectly content to hear that you find fault with him. He won't do anything else to you, will be?

Supposing that you can endure his retaliation, you must then write to somebody, but you don't know who is "appropriate" to address. Let's pretend that you pick the security captain. No way you'll get relief. All you'll get is another bloody face. 

Then, at last, you'll file a formal grievance. It won't be processed, however, because you didn't go to the "appropriate staff."

Let's pretend that this time it turns out that you're told that the 'appropriate staff' is a cook in the kitchen. You write to him. He says "huh?" Then you resubmit the grievance. 

Most times all this can't all be done in 15 days! Maybe 2 months have passed. You are barred from complaining.

Now to the Carini. He's more commonly called "Teeny Beanie Carini" in deference to certain intellectual limitations. He's a prison guard, nothing unusual or special although there are rumors that he sucks his thumb. Carini is a searcher. He likes to root through the few personal items that prisoners have managed to obtain. He seems to obtain a perverse delight in depriving them of their possessions.

With another, more reasonable guard, Carini searched the cell in which our correspondent, OFG, was imprisoned with another older prisoner. OFG was miffed by his treatment, but he's old and cranky. He gets miffed pretty easily. He undertook the daunting challenge of formally complaining about the search.

First OFG ranted to Carini complaining about the property he'd stolen and the mess that he made. Carini wasn't happy that OFG was going to file a grievance and he warned him about how "lucky" he'd been that he hadn't been treated even worse.

Then OFG wrote to the prison Security Office which he foolishly assumed was the 'appropriate staff.' The following is part of his prolix letter. 

After an hour and a half of trashing the old man's possessions, "Scotty" hit pay dirt. In OFG's extensive card file he spied cards listing the names and titles of members of the prison staff! Scotty's mental engines jumped into warp drive. Just because he had the intellectual acumen of a "Trebble' didn't mean that he couldn't recognize information when he saw it. Information was like almost spooky! Triumphantly, Scotty beamed the card file directly to the security boss' inner sanctum.

I'll let it up to you to guess what more happened. but you can see how the Inmate Grievance System really works. I'm sure that you are delighted to shell out $800,000.00 a year to pay for such a farce and to support the guards like "Teeny Beanie" and Scotty who make a need for it.