The Pennsylvania prisons have a piece of red tape called a request slip. It's a form that prisoners commonly use for scrap paper. The form may also be used to address a memorandum to an important member of the prison staff. Where a member of the prison staff is much too important, too impressive, too busy or simply too remote to condescend to speaking directly with a prisoner, the prisoner might try writing a request slip. Generally the request will be ignored. Even those members of the staff who can read, are far too lazy and idle to actually do their jobs. Few can write well enough to pen an answer. These are state drones. They're employed, but don't actually do much work. Most (but not all) prison employees are self-important bullies. That's doubly true for the guards. Many are martinets who only feel secure when they're demeaning others. Generally, the lower down the bureaucratic ladder, the more pompous a guard is likely to be. Ordinary screws are almost always pretty obnoxious. The next grade up the bureaucratic ladder, the guard sergeant, is just a tad more self-assured. Some don't feel the need to be continually over-bearing billies. Third grade guards are called lieutenants. Some guard lieutenants are pretty bad, too. A couple at the Frackville state prison are as insecure as timid girl scouts with the farts. The request slip in the present case was addressed to a second grade guard, a sergeant. This one is not just a bully, he's a racist. His outstanding characteristics are (a) his neurotic self-importance and (b) an almost debilitating insecurity which makes him unable to cope with anything that's not micro-managed. It's beneath his dignity to converse with a lowly prisoner or to listen to a lowly prisoner's needs. That would reduce him in importance. The sergeant, named amI? can bellow, threaten, bluster and debase, but not cope with prisoners. One of his great weaknesses is that he feels very threatened. Almost anything a prisoner says to amI?, the sergeant feels is a threat. amI? frightens very easily. He punishes many prisoners for threatening him. It's rather pathetic. While amI? was strutting around badgering prisoners, I committed an unspeakable offense. I asked for heat. amI? cannot be disturbed for matters related to his job. I had to submit a request slip. Excellency, High Prison Guard Sergeant, amI?: Addled by low temperatures and high winds, I committed a grievous faux pas. I rudely intruded into your prance-time. I asked for heat. I'm weak, unworthy prisoner scum. Please find it in your magnanimous munificence to forgive the gross affront. You deigned to grunt a horse scoff and order that I "send a request slip." Thank you almighty mogul. All praise to your Excellency! I'm not one of those naughty prisoners who thinks for himself. I don't think you are a pompous, self-important bully. I'm scum delighted to bask in your imperious radiance. It's good that you micro-manage meaningless trivia, albeit a smidgen anal-retentive. I most humbly beg your excellent high sergeantness, may we have some heat, pretty please? I promise to quiver and quake in the presence of your power and glory. I promise to revere you and extol you among all the lowly prisoners, amen and amen. Rebecca's Bargain Antiques Collectible Vintage Photos Fine Prints - Old Maps Sheet Music - Old Books Elegant Antiques and Collectibles "I've done all the time I'm ever going to do" Humphrey Bogart in High Sierra, 1940 You are welcome to use or republish any of our material. Please give www.prisoners.com credit as the source. Return to the Glimpse of Prison Life Menu. Return to the Main Menu. Go to our site's Search Engine. Send us Your Comments, Questions or Input.